Right in Front of Me (talk some sense to me)
by mosylu
Summary: When Cisco wakes up in the hospital, it doesn't take him long to realize he may have let something pretty big slip while he was under the effects of painkillers. But what does Caitlin think of his secret? Killervibe fluff


(A/N) For starlabsforever, title from Amber Run's "I Found", for my musical prompts series on Tumblr. Has absolutely nothing to do with current canon.

* * *

When he opened his eyes, Caitlin was right there, smiling at him. "Hi," she said softly. "Welcome back. I thought you'd be waking up soon."

"Hey," he said hazily. "Hiya. Ooo."

"How do you feel? They've backed off on your pain meds."

"Spacey," he answered honestly. His left arm was all splinted up. He vaguely remembered something being seriously amiss with his shoulder, but the fluffy haze of drugs wrapped around him.

Her brows pulled together. "Any pain? Discomfort?"

"Stiff. That's it." He looked over at the window, which showed him bright sunshine and puffy clouds. The last he remembered, it had been after dark. "Whoa, how long was I out?"

"This time? About four hours. What's the last thing you remember clearly?"

"Fighting bad guys, and some dude throwing me into a railing, which, _rude_ \- but I got up and finished the fight." He was kind of proud of that, even if he'd started getting wicked dizzy after it was all over.

"That's it?"

"Mmhmm."

"You don't remember screaming and passing out when I started examining you, back at Star Labs?"

"Wha - whoa. No, sure as hell don't."

She nodded. "I made Barry bring you here. It was definitely beyond my capabilities."

That explained why he was in what seemed to be an actual hospital room and not the comfy, familiar Star Labs medical lab. "What'd that railing do to me?"

"Severe bruising, cracked ribs, dislocated shoulder. Mostly I was concerned for your spleen, and I was right. It ruptured. I'm afraid they had to remove it."

"Awwww," he said. "I liked that spleen. Made it myself."

She smiled a little. "Between the emergency surgery and the heavy-duty narcotics, it's been about a day and a half."

He gaped at her. "That long? Have you been here this whole time?"

She smiled again. Her eyes were tight and her shoulders were tight. He wanted to hug her and tell her everything was going to be fine, he was going to be fine. That she didn't have to worry at all, ever. "I'll let the nurses know you're awake."

After the flurry of nurses and doctors and medical stuff was over, she came back in. "Well, I've been talking to your primary and he's very optimistic. You may be able to go home in three days." When he didn't say anything, she added, "I know that sounds really long, but the kind of surgery you had, it would usually be a full week. You're healing up very well." She looked thoughtful. "I know you don't have anything like Barry's or my metabolic boost, but I wonder if you've got at least a little one. Most people don't bounce back like this."

He was fiddling with his IV line, brows drawn together. He still felt a little fuzzy around the edges, but some things had come back while he was getting poked and prodded. "So, I guess they gave me some pretty good stuff for the pain."

"Oh, yes, you were _very_ high." She laughed a little, but something about it sounded fake. "I'm going to text Barry and let him know you're awake."

"Hold off on that a moment," he said. "It sounds like I woke up a few times, too."

She hesitated, then said too casually, "Once or twice, for a few minutes. Like I said, you weren't what I'd call lucid."

"Right. Did I say some stuff to you?"

Her eyes flickered away. "I didn't take it seriously. Those were very good drugs. Don't worry about it."

He could let this go, Cisco thought. He could drop it entirely. Everyone knew painkillers made you loopy. If he had said what he remembered saying, it was something he'd been stopping himself from telling her for months now. The words welled up inside him, bumping against the back of his teeth, tingling in the tips of his fingers, begging to be said or texted or just somehow, some way, let out.

But he'd been keeping them locked up for a very good reason. Because if he let them out, it was going to change everything. Because no matter what, she'd never look at him the same again. The words would always be there between them.

If he had any sense at all, he'd follow her lead and pretend he'd forgotten all about it.

"But what did I say?"

Clearly, he didn't have a lick of sense.

"Please, can we stop talking about this," she said in a small, high voice, like she was trying not to cry.

He gulped. "Did I say something nasty to you?"

"I told you I didn't take it seriously."

"Because what I remember saying is that I love you. But if it came out wrong, I'm so sorry. Please tell me."

"No, that's - that's what you said. But like I told you, it's all right. I know it was the drugs talking. The state you were in, you would have declared your love to a can of Pringles. I know you didn't mean it." She jumped up and crossed the room, rooting through her purse with her hair falling down in a curtain between them. "I'm texting Barry. Do you want him to bring you anything from your place? Your tablet?"

He sat blinking at the side of her head.

Well.

Shit.

He hadn't considered this possible reaction.

"How do you know?"

"What?" she said, muffled, still hunched over her phone.

"How do you know I didn't mean it?"

She made some kind of quick motion, as if something were on her face and she was brushing it away. "I told you, those drugs - "

"So anything I said while tripping balls is automatically null and void?"

She let a breath so hard it fluttered the ends of her hair.

"Hey. Would you look at me?"

After a moment, she turned around. He gestured her toward him. "C'mere. I want you to check my pupils. My reflexes. Whatever you need so you know I'm in my right mind."

She took a few steps toward him, until she stood at the end of the bed. "I saw your dosage. I've been talking to you this whole time. So I'm confident you're reasonably lucid and aware."

This close, he could see there was a little red around her eyes. It made his heart lurch.

This was stupid. He was out of his mind. What was he thinking, pushing for something that would change their entire friendship? He was still high. He was going to make everything weird and awkward and -

His feelings swelled up in him, filling in all the spaces between muscle and tendon and bone, pushing at his skin, spilling out his mouth. "I love you."

Her lips parted. Her throat moved.

"I've loved you for awhile now, and I've been stopping myself from saying anything, but I can't stop myself anymore. I'm sorry if it makes things weird, and I'm not saying it to get any kind of anything back from you, I just - "

She bolted around the side of the bed, half-knelt on the edge of the bed (doing her best to avoid all the wires and tubes), put her hands on his face, and gave him the lightest, gentlest kiss he'd ever gotten.

"Mmmph?" he said.

She pulled back. "You had internal bleeding. Your blood pressure dropped like a stone," she said in a trembling voice. "I was so afraid I was going to lose you on my table. And all I could think was that I'd - " She hiccupped. "That I'd never told you how I felt."

He took her wrists. Her pulse fluttered under his fingertips. "How you felt?"

"I love you," she said. "I don't know how long it's been going on, but a few weeks back I realized I was in love with you and I didn't know what to do about it. Because you were right there in front of me every day, acting normal, just like we've always been with each other. We've always been - "

"Us," he said. "We've always been us, and that's never been romantic before."

She nodded. "And when you said you loved me, all I wanted was for it to be true. But I knew how strong the drugs were, and I told myself I n-needed to be sensible, and - and - " Her mouth was trembling.

He kissed it. "What's sensible about love? You wanna find out what us looks like when it is romantic?"

"Yes," she said, letting out her breath and leaning her forehead against his. "I really would."

Ten minutes of whispering and kisses and the gentlest possible cuddling later, Barry came in. He checked on the threshold, blinking at them. "Hey," he said. "Guys. Cisco, are you still - uh - ?"

"Just high on love," Cisco said.

Barry cracked up, while Caitlin huffed and rolled her eyes at his cheesiness, and attempted to bite back the silly smile on her face.

"Nice," Barry said, setting down the bag. "See, I told you he meant it."

"Yes, you did," Caitlin said.

Cisco looked at her with unholy glee. "I said it in front of him?"

Barry laughed. "You said it whenever you noticed she was in the room, and she's been here since about two minutes after you arrived. So, I figure by this time the entire hospital knows."

"That's fine by me," Cisco said, curling his fingers through Caitlin's. "You?"

"Now that I know it wasn't the drugs talking? Go ahead. Tell the world."

FINIS


End file.
